You jump out of the zeppelin and fall to your death.\n\nGame Over.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nJust kidding, you instantly respawn. You jump out and hook onto the rail thing that I didn't mention earlier. It's literally a rail shooter, clever! You get to Monument Island, there's a bunch of sciencey stuff.\n\nYou open a peep show thing and see a girl there, she looks nice. More peeping, she has magic powers. You climb around then fall and she throws some books at you. You calm her down and escape through a door. There's a big ol' bird trying to claw at you.\n[[Shoot it]]

Good idea! Doesn't die though. The girl finds a door but she's too weak to open it.\n[[Use your manly strength to open the door]]

The year is the early 1900's. You are Dude Bro McGunpants. You're on a row boat with some British people so you know they're saying something smart. You go a lighthouse, then some sort of church thing. Nope, now you're somewhere else, a fountain with some statues. There's some coins and food, what do you want to do?\n[[Loot]]

You open the door and climb up to the top but then you both fall off and you automatically grab her hand and another conveniently placed rail. Super dramatic. You loop around this bridge that's collapsing a couple times so you get a good view of it, then fall in the water.\nPut a bird on it!\n\nNow there's a flashback. You're in a room and someone is knocking on the door. What do you want to do?\n[[Open the door]]\n[[Don't open the door]]

An interracial couple is put on stage, and the announcer dude says some racist stuff, moral dilemma!\n[[Racism is bad]]\n[[Racism is good]]

Wrong!

You don't really ask that. You loot some more stuff and come across a black fellow who talks all old timey black folk like, but it's not racist because that's how they talked back then.\n\nOK this is taking too long. You die and everything you did in the game was meaningless.\n\nThe End.\n\nTo be continued...

Now you get to a place with some KKK looking dudes.\n[[Change their minds about racism with reason]]

You exit the house. Shlootin.\nGO TO MONUMENT ISLAND AND FIND THE GIRL\nWhat do you want to do?\n[[Go to monument island and find the girl]]

Reason is what you call your gun, and changing their minds is what you call killing them. You also enlighten one of them by ripping his head off.\nYou get a bottle of booze. Put a bird on it!\n\nK more shootin' and lootin', you've probably murdered around 100 people by now but it's probably OK because they might have been racists.\n\nNow there's the Wizard of OZ on a big screen, his name is Stomcock. He says you suck. You're all like "You don't know me".\n\nYou jump on a zeppelin, and some lady lights herself on fire. The whole thing is now on fire, in case you're wondering what to do now let me help.\nESCAPE THE ZEPPELIN\nWhat do you want to do?\n[[Escape the zeppelin]]\n

Bioshoot Infinite +1

Excellent choice!\n[[Next passage]]

You find a bunch of police inspecting people, but there's a door to the side. It's locked. You can't open it. The girl comes over and picks the lock.\n[[Ask her why she didn't pick the lock to the door to the tower that you had the key for]]

Come on, take it.\n[[Take the baseball]]\n[[Don't take the baseball]]

You brutally murder like 20 people. Now shooting and looting. More shooting and looting. Shoot N loot. Shootloot. Shloot. Now there's a nice couple that's going to hide you from the police. What do you want to do?\n[[Loot the shit out of their house]]

Excellent choice!\n[[Next passage]]

Come on, open the door.\n[[Open the door]]\n[[Don't open the door]]

Thanks kids! Suckers. You ask some people if they've seen a girl around here but then remember there's an arrow that tells you exactly where to go. You find the girl dancing with some people, she seems pretty well adjusted for a girl locked in a tower her whole life with pervs spying on her all the time, don't you think?\n\nShe's like "dance with me!" and you're all like "no, let's catch an airship to Paris because I know you want to go there because I was spying on you"\n\nNow the screen tells you that you don't need to protect the girl in combat because she can take care of herself. Also she has no hitbox. There's probably some more murdering coming up.\n\nNope. Just looting. The girl found two necklaces, one with a bird on it and one with a cage on it.\n[[Put a bird on it!]]\n[[Cage]]

Got some sweet stuff! You're not sure where to go though.\n[[Press up on the Dpad to display an arrow of exactly where to go]]

You eat the food and take the money, no one seems to care. Now there's a bunch of carnival crap, and a girl offers you a baseball with a number on it.\n[[Take the baseball]]\n[[Don't take the baseball]]\n

You try to throw the baseball at the announcer dude but are ball-blocked by a policeman. Turns out racist announcer guy is a dick. Apparently they think you're a false Shepard, pretending to be the hero from Mass Effect when you aren't. They don't take kindly to folks pretending to be spaceship commanders 'round here. Looks like they want to hurt you. What do you want to do?\n[[Brutally murder like 20 people]]\n

You open the door.\nLoading.\n[[Wait]]

Hi pretty girl!\nShe hears some music and runs off, you wake up on the beach. Remember that movie The Beach? Me neither. Did that have Ice Cube in it? No that was Leonardo Dicaprio.\n\nThere's some kids playing in the sand and their allowance appears to have fallen out of their pockets.\n[[Loot that shit]]